I don’t know how old Kelly Ripa is now, I know she’s got a team of kids somewhere, but she still looks so damn good. Here she outside the Late Night With David Letterman studios showing off her MILF body. I like it. I think we should have a playdate sometime, I’m sure I could hire a midget to play my kid so we can get together at Chuck E Cheese or something. I’ll make sure to keep the little guy far enough away so she won’t be able to tell. I think it will work.

Here’s Britney Spears out doing some shopping the other day, double fisting a couple of beverages. I like chicks who double fist, but coffee and water aren’t the drinks I’m looking for. That wasn’t the point of this post so let’s just drop it. What’s important is that she decided to wear a bra to cover up her sad nipples, and her boobs actually look pretty damn good. I just wish she wasn’t wearing so much clothing. A couple of wine coolers would take care of that.

Lindsay Lohan is still in Europe doing what the Europeans do best, wearing leather pants and looking bitchy. Here she is out it France somewhere prancing around town in her tight little leather leggings and jacket looking like she owns the place. Who’s paying for this trip? She’s been there for like a month, she has no money coming in, something’s up. I bet there’s a rich old dude somewhere pulling the strings. Bastard.

I wasn’t going to post these pictures of the mom from the TV show Modern Family Julie Bowen running around in her bikini on the beach, but then I figured why the hell not? She’s a celebrity, she’s in a bikini and that’s pretty much my business. Right? Then I got a good look at them and regretted it instantly. Someone should be editing this crap.

Here’s Cheryl Tweedy shaking her little ass during a performance on X Factor in her weird, sexy, futuristic and slutty captain’s outfit. Alright so the outfit’s a little stupid looking, but that doesn’t take anything away from Cheryl’s hotness. I’ve never actually heard her sing, which isn’t very nice considering we’ve been internet engaged for like four years, but I’ve seen enough pictures of her and her tacky stripper tattoo to know that she’s got the voice of a thousand angels. Enjoy.

I don’t know what these pictures of Megan Fox from some sort of portrait session are for, but I’m glad they exist, now I have some nice tasteful pictures of her to photoshop myself into. Not that I wasn’t pasting myself in to her bikini pictures, but these I can actually show people. We’re going to look so great together on our Christmas cards and birthday cards and anniversary cards and bar mitzvah cards… Not to mention the family newsletter I will be sending to all my ingrate relatives. It’s going to be awesome.

Earlier I posted pictures of Mariah Carey’s fat cleavage saying it was sloppy and that it wasn’t being presented in the best light. THIS is how you showcase big fat cleavage. Christina Hendricks is by far the queen of presenting oversized boobies in the most tasteful and hottest manner possible, here she is at the 18th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party launching pre-teen boys everywhere directly into puberty at a mere glance. I don’t know how she can breathe with those things stuffed in there, and I don’t really care, as long as she keeps doing it we’re good. Enjoy.

I was getting really bored with these Oscar outfits but luckily Bar Rafaeli managed to squeeze her sweet Israeli gefilte fish into a hot dress and save the day . Delicious.

Here’s Mariah Carey’s fat cleavage at the Academy Awards last night doing it’s best to remain where it belongs and not spill out all over the red carpet. I don’t know what’s happening with Mariah, maybe it’s married life, but she’s starting to look a little sloppy. And I normally love big sloppy boobs, but I prefer them to be drunk and/or serving me beers or riding a mechanical bull, not all dressed up at some fancy event. That’s like wearing an evening gown to dollar wine cooler night at the strip club. It just doesn’t look right.

Let me start off by saying that I don’t find Hilary Swank attractive at all, I think it was either that movie where she pretended to have a penis or her face that ruined it for me, but I’m not afraid to admit that she’s got one hell of a body on her. I think the kids call this a butterface. Here she is at some Vanity Fair event showing off more than a little cleavage, some sideboob and even a little underboob. That’s a hat-trick. You can always tell it’s a good cleavage top when you can almost see bellybutton. Did I mention her ass looks pretty good too? Enjoy.